i dunno what happen to him.
He smsed me yesterday and said that he banged his car.
I’m so afraid that he’s injured or something.
He never reply me after that.
Sigh~
I msged him today and asked him whether he’s okay.
He replied and said he has to pay alot of money and need to send his car to repair.
So meaning he knocked onto someone’s car i assume.
And I think he doesnt have the mood also.
No mood to play game, no mood to do anything else but to lie on his bed doing nothing.
I guess I shant disturb him.
I really don’t know what else to do to make him feel better.
Sigh~
This is the first time I really feel for someone in a relationship…
I guess maybe I really love him alot.

My 19th birthday should be the best i have so far. Thanks for all the acting by Guowen, Ron, Mevlyn, James, Fion, Yimei, Ching Siong and Roy. All of them said that they are joining for the birthday dinner and all have plans with the mastermind-Eugene. And xueshi knew all these but she kept quiet~
Xueshi wants me to cherish Eugene. She said he’s a nice guy and i must not bully him. Well have to agree. He’s really a nice boyfriend, just that i dunno how to show my appreciation or love to him. I’m not someone that will keep saying I love u this sort of thing. To my mom is another thing lah but i just dunno what else i should do. He always spring me with surprises and keep entertaining me. Feel so bad~ i kept quiet most of the times but that’s because i want to hear what he said. He’s funny~ but at times i really dunno what to talk to him.
I will always rmb on 5th Jan 2008, 1156 hour… he called and give me a surprise. I thought he was lying that he’s at the corridor. I opened the door but didnt see him so i thought maybe he was trying to trick me or something then he told me he’s near the lift. so i went there and saw him there. he wanted to put candles in the “Happy birthday” shape but plan fail. His lighter spolit and he gt blister for that. feel sad for that.
He said he’ll be leaving to Taiwan for a year~ he asked whether i would be sad and miss him or not. I didnt think of that. One year… how would i know whether how i will feel at the time he tell me that. so i just joke around. BUT now i begin to feel a little sad. I think i will miss him alot but what can i do? He’s going there for work…
Sigh~

16th December 2007, he held my hand and asked what does that mean. I just laughed and said nothing. I knew he’s good and is serious with me but i didn’t reply him. 23rd December 2007.. the day that i agreed to be his girlfriend. I’m not sure whether I made the right choice or not. But i feel secured with him; at least he’s better than him.
Sigh!
But i feel bad. feeling terrible for indirectly hurting my close friend. To be frank, I don’t even know that his good to me has different meaning. I always thought we are friends.. or even i treat him as my brother; i never thought that he show interest in me. Guilty of course for taking his care and concern for granted and mislead him in some ways. Although things should be fine now, i still think he will still ponder over the day he saw us together.
XS? I think she’s equally not feeling as right. Maybe it’s because she just broke up 2 months ago and i got into a relationship, so she’s not feeling that well. I don’t know but i just feel that she’s not in the right form. She seems to be sad or am i too sensitive? Well, i don’t know…
There’s many things that i’m not sure of. My mom asked me whether i’d agreed too fast for the relationship. To a certain extent, yes i think. We barely know each other well… We only went out 3 times? And we are together… Mom keeps reminding me to be careful not to hurt myself. I’m thinking maybe in the end i’m not the one being hurt but the one who hurt him… Like what i did to HC the other time…
I just wish I will not. I hope at least our relationships will last for a year or more… 9 white roses= eternal love and i’m seen like an angel to him. I hope we made the right choices.

Sometimes i wonders what really is in his mind. Really~ Or should i put it this way: I don’t know about him at all.
The person i wanted to care doesn’t care me that much but the one i wanted to run away from wants to get nearer to me. Scary~
Am I being too sensitive?
Sometimes i ponder is he the right one for me or am i still waiting for the right one to come by?
He gives me a totally different feeling than CWW. I don’t know~
Sigh!
But i think it would be nice to know him a bit more but hurting another one is not my forte. I mean it’s very awkward to face him in future especially we have the same group of friends.
Ifyoucantakemoreinitiativeimightconsideryou…

I don’t know how to express my thoughts. I somehow wish that i am someone who can express everything openly but i can’t. I just realised I have a lot of reservations to many things. First I don’t know who to trust. I mean I don’t have someone who i can tell everything off my chest to him or her. or am i too afraid to? The same name came to my mind every now and then. Is it good or bad? But I really don’t want to be trapped like what i did in the past. Why has it to be that someone? I feel so terrible for keeping everything to myself and not letting it out. Sigh~

ithinkimreallyfallingfallinghard
ijustfeelweirdwoseeinghimdb

I’m always dreaming…
I feel like sleeping everytime.
Sigh.
1 more week to finish all reports.

I don’t know why but the same person appeared in my dreams consecutively for these two days. A questionable wonder cos I wonder why this happens. Sigh~ Maybe I see this person quite frequently these two days. Anyway, ain’t any good dreams-eerie and weird.

Ifeelsohardlookingforyourpresenceiknowishouldntbe
butistilldidisometimeswonderswhydidialwayslookforthesamepersonwhichiknowthere
mightnotbeanygoodendingbutistillthankgodforgivingachancetoknowyoudb

I finally managed to get some of the pages done temporary. So LONG didn’t update this web. Finally got a little time to change the image and clear some of the old posts. Actually that time should be spent on my report=X Anyway, I got my inspiration to restore this site from 3c-olors. All the nice graphics… So long never touch my photoshop already… I shall start my blending and stuff again.

No X-family tonight=( Sad…It’s so exciting to watch one episode after one. Episode 47, Gui Long vanished=[ Gui Feng very suave; ah gong, he’s not sissy,ok? Haha~ Shall see whether anyone will upload in tudou tomorrow or not.

I shall try some signatures now. Ciao~

I’m currently reconstructing this site to make it better.
Hopefully I’ll be diligent enough to upload my work=)